Living on the Edge

What does life with Christ at the center really look like? This is a question from caregroup last night, and I'm desperate to live in that. It's so much more about 1 on 1 contact than what it "looks like" to me or anyone else.

I was talking to my grandad today about fleshing this out, and he challenged me about how I'm living my life. I tend to live with alot of 2nd guessing my actions and what I should be doing in moment to moment interactions. He asked, "Jessica, how sovereign is your God?" Wow. That nailed it. He's all-sovereign, meaning that in everything I do, He has a purpose. He would not place a situation in my life if it wasn't going to be used to lead me to deeper faith and trust in Him. With Him at the center, I can rest.

But resting in my heart does not mean that I don't DO anything. Grandad told me that the word "RISK" in Chinese is 2 characters, and those characters are "dangerous" + "opportunity". Wow again! This is what I want! When we are praying, "Lord Jesus, You are at the center of my life; WHAT do You want me to do in this moment?" we can be sure He will lay someone on our hearts. We can go out and--in His power--share LIFE with others.

Directly after that conversation, the people at Panera Bread gave me a huge bag of pastries and breads as they were closing early. When I came home and surveyed the goods with my mom, we decided that we should share them with neighbors. I have been wanting for some time to bake cookies or something and go take them to the people living near us to start developing relationships and begin to share the Gospel. Well, the food was there, and all that needed to be done was to go. So I went.

God was bathing every moment with His grace. My next-door neighbor's health is failing rapidly, and I have shared the Gospel with her before, but as I was visiting with her, God was pressing me to do it once again. We talked for quite some time, and she listened as I explained the story of salvation again. She did not commit her life to Christ, but she had tears in her eyes, and I believe that God used this encounter and is at work in her life right now. I am just in awe that He is so in love with people and that He uses His children to share His Love with those that don't know Him.

This is not about me. This is about the power of God that is at work in ALL of our lives. We start out with a plate of donated goodies, and God can turn it into eternal glories. The point is that we need to take those "risks" and get out there and see what God does. Even if all we say is "God bless you" to someone, we are in His plan seeking for Him to use us everywhere we go. We will not be disappointed. And we can take no credit. It is HIS POWER ALONE.

What a MIGHTY GOD we serve.

11/11/09

So, 11/10/09 looks like a really negative post. I like to be positive, but sometimes there are those days where you just need to say things as they are. I was thanking God last night for bringing me through that day. And it wasn't so awful really. Just a tough day. Other people go through so much more than I do. I've been through so many worse things than yesterday. I believe God had planned each and every millisecond. He cares so much more about the state of my heart and my growth in Him than whether or not I'm enjoying my life. I have an opportunity every moment to "enjoy" my life. It is selfish to think that I should be happy all the time. No; but I am commanded to REJOICE at all times. Joy and happiness are so very very different. Not that God doesn't want me to be happy, but I am a spoiled brat when I just want my happiness at all costs.

Ok, and very random side note: how come words sometimes look so wrong spelled a certain way? I'm here typing and I spelled "awful" as "aweful" but the little red line kept coming under, so I googled the spelling and sure enough it's "awful" and that looked like a foreign word to me! Aaack! Now it looks correct though, and I found out that "aweful" is an Old English spelling of the term.

God took me to Isaiah 43 today, and it was glorious to read.

"But now, this is what the LORD says--He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior" (v. 1-3a).

The rest of the chapter is so amazing. I love this passage, and would write it all, but I need to get back to typing my paper. This passage fed the fire in my heart as I see the Holiness, Glory, Grace, Love, and Power of God. He yearns for us, and this fact blows me away. All praise and glory is given to Him!

11/10/09

Here is a glimpse into what nursing school mixed with being a musician is like:

0545-up and ready for the day, print off lecture notes, etc.

0725-leave for ODU (I always seem to push things until the last minute

0800-class (today we heard a heartbreaking story at the end of class and I couldn't stop crying)

1100-lunch with Clarissa and Brian @ the Mexican place. I ate too many salty things and felt sick

1200-Labor and delivery class. We say the most traumatizing movie today, and I was just not feeling well, so it was a very long class

1530-Warm up for vocal lesson

1600-Lesson

1645-Fight traffic to get back home, eat, grab violin/music, and off to rehearsal

1830-Celtica rehearsal

2100-Home to get music out, practice piano for tomorrow's Veteran's Day performance

2300-Try to start paper for next week

0015-Take silly facebook quizzes b/c my brain's gone

0100-Sleep time

Randomness!

This is hilarious--I've never really thought much about blogging before (what with facebook and all), but the fun part is that I always seem to join these networks when I need to be studying--and it's really really late as well.

I don't even think anybody will find this to read it, but that's ok. It's fun to feel like I can write something about me, but who knows what happens with it.

My friend Jonathan said he thought it would be fun if I started blogging about my life, so here it is. This is really a test page b/c I don't have much of an idea where this blog will go and I may get rid of it soon.

Random fact of the day about Jess: my favorite freckle is on my right index finger between the proximal and distal phalanges :)